When life gives you lemons, what do you do?
They say the struggle is real. Is it really, or do we choose to struggle? The truth is negative emotions are toxic! They have adverse effects on our mood, relationships, and physical health. Anger weakens the liver, grief weakens the lungs, worry weakens the stomach and stress weakens your heart and brain.
Concerned? You should be. Over an extended period of time worry, stress, anger have the power to destroy your physical health. The good news is you have a choice: allow toxic emotions to take over or shift your vision around the negativity and find the positive.
Often when there is struggle, as humans we default to victim mode. The endless cycle of blame and shame begins, and the toxic train takes over.
I know because I’ve been there. It’s not until I jumped off that I could really see how much that 2-year ride cost me. I know first-hand that holding on and burying the pain isn’t the answer.
With each pregnancy loss the pain took over another part of my heart and I slowly withdrew. Much like a splinter you get in the hand, those negative emotions fester and get stronger, blocking out hope of getting past them.
Don’t believe the created world of social media. Life is not perfect, and everybody is dealing with a negative situation, person or emotion. Get your joy back and start to see life through a different lens.
Shift Your Vision
Train your mind to think and look for the positive in every situation. Notice when toxic emotions battle to the surface and start to interrupt the pattern. It takes patience and practice and begins with awareness; an understanding that your thoughts create your reality.
The next time you find yourself in a negative situation, turn inward and start to notice the thoughts and feelings that come up. Resist the urge to judge and criticize, just notice your feelings and be in self-inquiry. Ask yourself these questions:
- What Happened?
- What am I upset about?
- Am I overreacting?
- What’s the worst thing that can happen?
- Is this worth my energy?
- How can I just let this go?
As you ask yourself these questions, you will find that you are calming yourself and gaining perspective on the situation. You may not be happy that the incident occurred, but now you can see how you can either change it or walk away from it. Either way, you have regained the power of choice and that is a positive thing.
Another way to approach this is by looking at the situation as an opportunity to grow and discover something about yourself. The universe puts problems on our path for a reason and sometimes we never know exactly what that reason is.
By coming from a place of curiosity, you now place yourself in a position to find the silver lining. The result will be that you see the situation from a new looking. Sometimes, you’re able to see an opportunity for you to learn something new.
You have control
You have control of your thoughts and emotions. You are responsible for how you respond to the negative situation. Whether or not you had anything to do with the negative situation, maybe you had no involvement at all and were simply thrust into the situation, but you are responsible for how you respond.
You can decide to look for the positive in every situation by simply saying so. Say it out loud, “I will look for the positive in this situation,” and you will begin to see the situation differently.